I love to win: but at what cost?

I love to win

Don’t get me wrong… I lose a lot. And often by a very long way. I am very competitive, mostly with myself, but still I love the feeling of success.

At the age of 36, I finally understand what I didn’t when I was a competitive swimmer in my teens… when you train, if you don’t train hard, if you don’t give your all, if you don’t listen to your coach, you only cheat yourself. But sometimes none of this knowledge matters.

Today has been a really frustrating day for me. I am angry at who it seems we have become as a society. Well at least some of us. On my way to swimming training this morning (yes, I am dragging this 36 year old butt into an outdoor pool at freezing o’clock to compete at the masters games later this year and training rather than watching the Olympics… go figure) I was listening proudly to the success of two of our swimmers. Alicia Coutts was about to receive her bronze medal and Christian Sprenger was having the race of his life in the 100 breaststroke.  I almost didn’t want to train. I wanted to wait and listen to the 4 x 100m relay for men. Thank goodness I didn’t. Not because they didn’t win, but because it seems we (the media and some of the people of Australia) feel that if we put a goal out there and don’t succeed we are failures. Also we are apparently arrogant and in need of bringing down. Wow. I believe that is sad.

I have so many goals. That is the way I work. Goals for my weight. Goals for business. Goals for masters swimming. Goals for how I want to parent. Goals for my relationship.  My life is about goals. I didn’t realise it for a long time, but for me, I respond to goal setting. I appreciate that not everyone works that way, but I do. I need goals to achieve. I need goals to stay focused. This year I have the Pan Pac Masters games. Next year is the Mooloolaba Triathlon, followed by Noosa. Maybe a half marathon thrown in. If my closest friends have something to say about it I will probably add a half ironman to my list (but maybe not – my husband still likes to spend time with me!)

I often share my goals. Sharing them means that my friends help me. They stand by me and if I succeed, they celebrate with me. And if I fail, they are there, they understand what it meant to me and they help me pick up the pieces to start again on my next goal. I believe that James Magnussen did this. He shared with Australia. Not to be arrogant. But for our support.

Today we have stomped on a champion. But more than that, we have told our kids not to share their dreams for fear of ridicule. Today certainly has been a dark day for Australian swimming. Not because of the outcome in the pool, but because of the character we have shown as a nation.

Supersized fast-food fury?

This week McDonald's was found in breach of industry standards over a website which was seen to be marketing to children. Personally I do not mind most of the marketing they do. The marketing person inside of me finds it interesting, the charity worker inside of me worries a little about those who are weak to these messages, but in the end, I truly believe that it is up to the parents to teach their kids about what they eat and why they eat it, because those lessons will be with them for life.

The SMH reported:

The Advertising Standards Bureau upheld the Cancer Council's complaint about the Happy Meal website, finding that it had breached several clauses of the voluntary code for advertising to children, including promoting unhealthy food choices by using characters and online interactive games aimed at children.

You can read more: http://www.smh.com.au/national/maccas-website-breached-ad-rules-20120708-21pjv.html#ixzz207DA9QXB

Even having worked for charities targeting this behaviour in the past, I have started to rethink why this causes so much passion from so many. I am struggling to understand how cute characters on a game, on a website are encouraging children to eat bad food. I do understand pester power. I have studied it at university and I most certainly have seen the impact of it on marketing campaigns I have worked on.  

I also have a 6 yr. old and a 3 yr. old. So far, I control what goes into my children’s mouths – to a large degree. They love having McDonald’s. They have probably had it 3 times in the last year, and their meals are chosen by me (apple bag, no chips, water instead of soft drinks). I know exactly what it does to their little bodies overnight too. My 3 year old has type 1 diabetes; I test her blood glucose every few hours during the night. On a McDonald’s night she usually needs extra insulin and her levels continue to get higher and higher overnight. McDonald’s is a treat and my kids understand this.

I would like to eat bad food every day. I love chocolate. I love ice-cream.  I know what happens if I eat too much – and it is not just about gaining weight. I don’t think as clearly, I get tired and generally my health suffers. Over the past few years I have discussed the impact of our diet with my children. Mostly, they don’t nag me for “sometimes” foods. 

So would it be easier for parents if there were no lollies and foods targeting kids? I guess so. There would be fewer arguments and maybe less children eating as many “sometimes” foods. But what happens when the kids are old enough to buy their own food? What happens when they get to make their own choices? Clearly the concern is that we have an obesity epidemic growing in Australia with unhealthy parents unable to educate their children, which is leading to overweight or unhealthy children.

This week is National Diabetes Week. This week the focus is all about type 2 diabetes and how to prevent it. Type 2 diabetes is largely preventable through diet and exercise; unlike type 1 diabetes which is an auto-immune disease (and cannot be prevented). I think we need to start teaching our children from a very young age about good food choices. I think we need to help them understand why good foods can make them feel good for longer and why “sometimes” food, whilst yummy, are only for just that – for sometimes. I believe that the challenge for us is how we get parents to understand food labels – not just fast food, but all food. We need to understand the impact of the ingredients of what we eat and what it means to our bodies. The healthy canteens campaigns for schools within Australia are a great start.

What do you think? Would it be easier to just ban junk food advertising of all kids and remove cartoon packaging and kids’ toys with purchases? What else can we do to help parents?

The friendship collective

Sometimes it takes losing a friendship to remind you of the value of fabulous friends.

We have so many different types of friends in our lives. There are those who have always been there and always will. You may not speak to them all the time, sometimes go months between conversations if you live far apart. But they would be there if you needed them and you for them. A bond that remains strong at all times and pulls close only sometimes.

There are those who are new, and passionate and strong. Not in the romantic sense, but in the sharing of an interest, child or simply newly found common ground. You can’t wait to see them and see them often.

There are those who have been with you through the test of time. It may be through adolescence, through a loss, through relationships gains or breakups (isn’t it is funny how sometimes a new relationship tests a friendship more than the ending of one?), through marriage and children, sometimes when they don’t or can’t have children of their own; standing beside you and you beside them, sharing your lives together through friendship.

And then there are those that are transitional. Really important to you or to them at a point in time. But one day the friendship seems to have passed. Sociologists suggest that this type of friendship starts at the end of our schooling, sometimes at university. We learn to manage our expectation of certain friends, in certain ways, knowing that we may not be “friends forever”. It continues into adult life and becomes a challenge when the expectation of one friend falls into a different category than the other. This type of friendship intrigues me as much as it upsets me. As an adult I have certainly had my share of unexpected “unfriending” (and not just on Facebook). For me, it causes introspection, a questioning of what that friendship meant to me, whether I did something wrong or if it was simply transitional.

It also gives me the chance to reflect on all my friends. Those mentioned above and in all the other shapes and forms that form friendships. It reminds me to say thanks and to be appreciative as well as appreciated by those who I love.

Have you experienced transitional friends? And who have I missed? What makes up your friendship collective?

“Mummy, please fix my pancreas”

For the first time today my little 3 year old begged me to remove her “diabetes”. She asked that her pancreas not be broken – over and over again.

In so many ways my daughter is so much older than her 3 years. We can have conversations about what it means to be high or low. She understands what her blood glucose levels should be and can read them on her monitor. She is starting to test herself and discuss the carbohydrate content of the foods she eats. We also discuss fats, sugar and protein. We talk about exercise and why it is important and also how it will impact her blood glucose levels. Before today my daughter had always soldered on. Very occasionally she would cry at a needle, but almost always she would take her 5 plus needles each day and 2 – 3 hourly blood tests in her stride.

She was a little high this afternoon and I was tired and in a cranky mood too – so maybe that instigated her self analysis. “Why do I have diabetes? Did you have diabetes when to were 3? Why do some people have type 2 diabetes? Why can they get better and I can’t?” She hit me with question after question. Most I couldn’t answer with anything better than, I just don’t know. When she asked me if one day her pancreas would get better it just broke my heart. In all honestly, I just don’t have enough faith in a cure. Not enough money is spent on type 1 diabetes. Not enough people understand what it means to have type 1 diabetes. Kids and adults with type 1 have an invisible disease to a large degree. Most of the time no-one knows they have type 1 diabetes.

I have shared with you a day in our lives before, my fears when my daughter is sleeping (that she won’t wake up), the constant monitoring of food, blood testing and needles and the common questions about why she has diabetes (“Did you feed her lots of lollies when she was a baby?” or my favourite “Don’t you wish you breast fed her?”). As time goes on I am getting better with the questions. At least people are interested enough to ask and this gives me a chance to explain type 1 to one more person – and maybe that one person will share with someone else.

If I believed in God I would pray for a cure, but all I can do is ask those who have a spare few dollars to donate to the JDRF (www.jdrf.org.au). If not today, next week, next month, next year or even 10 years from now. I would love for there to be a cure one day. In the meantime, small technological advances make life easier for those with type 1. And technology is something I do offer my daughter for hope – that and my 100% support. There are promising medical devices overseas that hopefully will reach Australia and be funded by our government.

We take it one day at a time – but today was a tough day emotionally for all of us.

What does it mean to live with type 1 diabetes?

November is Type 1 Diabetes Awareness month. If you have ever wanted to ask me a question about my cheeky monkey or her Diabetes now is your chance (well... really you can ask anytime...).

It isn't pink or sexy; it doesn't involve boobs, football players, or cute shirts (but we are always open for assistance for our cause).

It's about 2am blood tests, low blood sugars, high blood sugars, counting carbohydrates and giving 4 or 5 needles a day.

It is about the constant surprise of how resilient your daughter is. Of how her positive attitude makes her life seem normal and making her life as normal as possible makes everything you do okay.

There is always the fear of hypoglycaemia. And the need to plan every small activity due to the impacts on blood sugar control. But the rewards are worthwhile. In the short term they can be better moods and in the long term, a healthier life.

Our future will likely include our cheeky monkey learning to cope with not being invited to many sleepovers or play dates because other people may be scared of needles and 2 - 3 hourly blood tests. But that is okay, because we can have them at our home, and not everyone is afraid.

It's about carrying an enormous bag at all times - a complete chemist and food store in your handbag for all emergencies – fortunately big bags are in fashion now! It's about putting up with ignorant people who say things like "you're lucky its only diabetes", "don't you wish you had breastfed her as a baby" or “she isn’t fat?” But it is also remembering that you didn’t always know everything about diabetes, and frankly, wouldn’t that be wonderful to still be the case.

It’s about the heartbreak when your daughter was diagnosed. It’s about watching her sleep at night and hoping that she will wake in the morning. It’s about wishing it was you and not her.

It’s about waiting for a cure...

(Inspired by and partly adapted from Karina Caton and Emma Savage)