4 years with type 1 diabetes: Judgement Day

Judgement day

It has been 4 years today since my baby girls' was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I remember the kindness of the staff at our local Hospital, I remember getting in and out of the ambulance as the bigger nearby hospital changed their minds about taking my daughter (for the best I know realise) and I will never forget the shock of not being able to travel with my baby to the closest major hospital in the ambulance – not knowing if she would make it. The ambulance staff were amazing and kept us as updated as they could and the Local Emergency team did everything they could to assist in a terrible and frightening situation.

Type 1 diabetes is a life sentence. For the patient and the family. It is also the start of a new life. One that involves a whole new language and a new level of politics.

My little girl is amazing. But I have also learned that so are many of my friends – new and old. So are my husband and my mum. Diabetes changes so much. Friends have learnt that I cannot be as reliable as I once was. My mum has become a life saver – giving me a much needed break as my husband works away, to help pay for the additional costs of managing type 1 diabetes that the government does not cover, and to give us a better life. I have made new friends through diabetes, who understand my life and my fears. But I have also found that my closest friends understand. They just do. I am really lucky to have them in my life.

I have also found that there is an unfortunate side to the support world. There are women who bitch, undermine and judge, often for their own gain. I probably should have expected it – but it really took me by surprise. Why would people do this? And how do they live with themselves? I have found that there are women who will actually go out of their way to bring you down and for this I am very sorry. For them mostly, as I believe that they must have very sad lives that they need to create pain for another.

Over the past four years I have learnt a love about myself. I have learnt what I really want to do. I have learnt how hard it is going to be to do it. I have worked at a fairly senior level in big pharma and for one of the biggest charities in Australia, but it will take more than knowledge to create the groundswell of change that is needed to create better lives for everyone with diabetes. Both type 1 and type 2. I have learnt that judging others does not help anyone and that only through assisting and creating change can we make a better life for everyone. One day I hope I will be a large part of that change. Until then, I will dabble at the edges, poking and prodding and trying to encourage people to understand each other.

My message for today… diabetes does not discriminate. For some types of diabetes diet and lifestyle may help – but it may not. You don’t know your future nor the future of your kids. Do not judge others and where you can, please lend a hand or an ear.

All Images: Copyright Invigor8 

Breastfeeding…. Bottle feeding…

I am not sure if there are words that are more controversial in parenting (well maybe with the exclusion of vaccination – but we can do that next week!).

Let me put this out there right now – I was a Brand Manager for an infant formula company for many years, both here in Australia and overseas. I have sat through hours and hours (and hours) of market research watching mums talk about breast feeding, bottle feeding, about how (when still pregnant) that they will have routines, their lives won’t change, how (post birth) they wish someone told them not to expect to have a routine, why they often feel guilty that they can’t live up to their own expectations (let alone other peoples) and how much they wish other parents/ grandparents and society would not judge them for their feeding choices… And interestingly, how they wished they could get more information about infant formula and why they feel so very guilty.

Yes, I worked for a formula company. Yes, it was in our interest to hear this. But in reality, there is very little ability to share good, thorough information about infant formula in Australia. We are not even able to call it baby milk here (you can in the UK). Here we have a mandated name so that it sounds clinical and scary and not as good for babies.

And I understand that breast milk is best. Not only did I have to write the “Breastfeeding is best for your baby” statement on any “marketing literature” that I developed in Australia (creating guilt for mums much anyone?), but I also did breastfeed both of my children. But I was able to and I wanted to. At the time of working for the “Big Pharma” company, I had read all of the current studies on why breastfeeding is beneficial and researched at length what ingredients I should be lobbying to have included in our formulas to make them better for babies and as close as possible to breast milk. Because, you know what, isn’t that what we all want? If we can’t, or chose not to breast feed, don’t we want to give our babies the next best thing?

And you can yell at me and tell me I am biased, but no matter what, I have worked in the industry and seen the research involved. I understand that without profits, there would not be significant research gains. Unless governments are going to start fully funding research and development into every illness, every health requirement, we need companies to make a profit. Otherwise, we all need to dig a lot deeper and start donating significant amounts of money to research of all kinds.

So as a mum who breastfed, as business women who worked for a formula company and as a parenting writer, I believe that we need to give mums (and dads) respect for their intelligence. We need to support mums in their choices. Help them to breastfeed, but not at the expense of their baby’s health or the mother’s mental state. When they can’t (or chose not to) breastfeed, give them the information to help them chose the right formula for their child. It may not be the most expensive formula (or maybe it will be), but without full access to unbiased information, how can a parent make an educated choice between formulas.

We need to take a step back from the health professional bashing and “it is all about profit” claims.

We need to work together. We need to make it all about mum and baby.