Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Is it okay to interfere?



Today as I stood on top of Mt Coolum, I was extremely proud of both my kids, my 3 year old daughter had just walked all the way to the top on her own and my 6 year had been wonderfully encouraging. As we always do, we wondered over to the far side of the top of the mountain to find a little shade and enjoy the view, a snack and water. 

As we sat there my son pointed to a girl and asked “Why is she drawing on the rock?” I looked over and a young girl of 10 or 11 years was carving her name into a large rock with a pocket knife. Mt Coolum is a National Park. Obviously graffiti almost anywhere is illegal; however, this is a National Park! And here was a young girl, with a knife, carving her name into a rock… in front of her father and sister. And in front of my 3 year old and 6 year old and every other child and teenager that was on top of the mountain today – and it was a beautiful Sunday and there were lots of people.


I looked at my husband, and said “Sorry, I am going to have to say something.” I have been known to do this with smokers in restaurants; however this was my first “wildlife warrior” moment. I politely asked the girl if she would mind stopping carving into the rock as it was graffiti and was not permitted in a national park. She looked at her dad who told her, “It’s okay; there are lot’s names already up here”. I explained that it wasn’t okay, and it was ruining the environment for everyone. The father was extremely unimpressed with my interfering (which I had expected) and stopped his daughter, telling her that it looked good already. He huffed and puffed many things under his breath and moved away with his kids. 

Our family packed up our rubbish and got ready to head back down. We started across the top of the mountain to begin our decent when I decided to run back and take a photo of the graffiti. To my shock, the dad was standing beside his daughter as she finished her name and date in the rock. This time I didn’t say anything – what could I say without really crossing the line. I went and took some photos of other carved names on top of the mountain, and there are a lot of them.

On the drive home we had a discussion with our kids about graffiti and the impact on the environment. We talked about why some graffiti is art and other is not. I was a little bit upset with father’s reaction; however my husband reminded me that I had basically disciplined his child in front of him. 

Sitting here writing this, I am still not sure what I would have done differently. Where do our kids learn about acceptable behaviour? I know I would be furious if a stranger corrected my parenting; however I felt that when we move into breaking the law and damaging the environment that it is time to say something. How do children learn about appropriate boundaries without parental direction?

What would you have done?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The friendship collective


Sometimes it takes losing a friendship to remind you of the value of fabulous friends.

We have so many different types of friends in our lives. There are those who have always been there and always will. You may not speak to them all the time, sometimes go months between conversations if you live far apart. But they would be there if you needed them and you for them. A bond that remains strong at all times and pulls close only sometimes.

There are those who are new, and passionate and strong. Not in the romantic sense, but in the sharing of an interest, child or simply newly found common ground. You can’t wait to see them and see them often.

There are those who have been with you through the test of time. It may be through adolescence, through a loss, through relationships gains or breakups (isn’t it is funny how sometimes a new relationship tests a friendship more than the ending of one?), through marriage and children, sometimes when they don’t or can’t have children of their own; standing beside you and you beside them, sharing your lives together through friendship.

And then there are those that are transitional. Really important to you or to them at a point in time. But one day the friendship seems to have passed. Sociologists suggest that this type of friendship starts at the end of our schooling, sometimes at university. We learn to manage our expectation of certain friends, in certain ways, knowing that we may not be “friends forever”. It continues into adult life and becomes a challenge when the expectation of one friend falls into a different category than the other. This type of friendship intrigues me as much as it upsets me. As an adult I have certainly had my share of unexpected “unfriending” (and not just on Facebook). For me, it causes introspection, a questioning of what that friendship meant to me, whether I did something wrong or if it was simply transitional.

It also gives me the chance to reflect on all my friends. Those mentioned above and in all the other shapes and forms that form friendships. It reminds me to say thanks and to be appreciative as well as appreciated by those who I love.

Have you experienced transitional friends? And who have I missed? What makes up your friendship collective?