I love to win
Don’t get me wrong… I lose a lot. And often by a very long
way. I am very competitive, mostly with myself, but still I love the feeling of
success.
At the age of 36, I finally understand what I didn’t when I
was a competitive swimmer in my teens… when you train, if you don’t train hard,
if you don’t give your all, if you don’t listen to your coach, you only cheat
yourself. But sometimes none of this knowledge matters.
Today has been a really frustrating day for me. I am angry
at who it seems we have become as a society. Well at least some of us. On my
way to swimming training this morning (yes, I am dragging this 36 year old butt
into an outdoor pool at freezing o’clock to compete at the masters games later
this year and training rather than watching the Olympics… go figure) I was
listening proudly to the success of two of our swimmers. Alicia Coutts was
about to receive her bronze medal and Christian Sprenger was having the race of
his life in the 100 breaststroke. I
almost didn’t want to train. I wanted to wait and listen to the 4 x 100m relay
for men. Thank goodness I didn’t. Not because they didn’t win, but because it
seems we (the media and some of the people of Australia) feel that if we put a
goal out there and don’t succeed we are failures. Also we are apparently
arrogant and in need of bringing down. Wow. I believe that is sad.
I have so many goals. That is the way I work. Goals for my weight.
Goals for business. Goals for masters swimming. Goals for how I want to parent.
Goals for my relationship. My life is
about goals. I didn’t realise it for a long time, but for me, I respond to goal
setting. I appreciate that not everyone works that way, but I do. I need goals
to achieve. I need goals to stay focused. This year I have the Pan Pac Masters
games. Next year is the Mooloolaba Triathlon, followed by Noosa. Maybe a half
marathon thrown in. If my closest friends have something to say about it I will
probably add a half ironman to my list (but maybe not – my husband still likes
to spend time with me!)
I often share my goals. Sharing them means that my friends
help me. They stand by me and if I succeed, they celebrate with me. And if I
fail, they are there, they understand what it meant to me and they help me pick
up the pieces to start again on my next goal. I believe that James Magnussen
did this. He shared with Australia. Not to be arrogant. But for our support.
Today we have stomped on a champion. But more than that, we
have told our kids not to share their dreams for fear of ridicule. Today
certainly has been a dark day for Australian swimming. Not because of the
outcome in the pool, but because of the character we have shown as a nation.
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